Running Inward

Trust is all about running inward.

 

When it’s the end of the world

and the monsters come to eat you alive,

do you run away–

back to the solitary life that is survival

where the only thing between you

and the madness

is your feet?

Or do you run inward?

Into the haven, the quarantine,

where others as broken as you stand to lend a hand?

It seems simple enough…

But running inward can hurt you, too.

The people within those walls, they can also eat you alive,

or you can eat them,

with the demons you’ve been carrying inside you

since the fight began.

Do you risk a new type of pain,

a new type of sorrow,

for the chance to not only survive,

but live?

 

Love is all about running inward.

 

When my mind was falling over pebbles, and my voice shook,

your hands were the first thing I grabbed for

and your eyes told me that you’d never seen me so afraid.

But I didn’t care,

because I was finally tired

of running away,

and just letting my demons eat me alone.

“You can’t fix me,” I said,

“I’ve fought monster with powers beyond time and space.”

“But I can help,” you said,

and you let me hold your hands

until the thundering ceased.

 

And never had life felt so simple.

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366 Poems: October 13th, 2016

Safe and Sound

May the gods help the over-thinker

in me

from thinking that I’ve lost you.

I mean, it can’t be helped really.

A trip,

a sickness,

a death,

a few words each night,

and then an airplane

with no such thing

as goodbye.

But I know

that this is when I have to trust you

when you say you’ll come back to me.

In one piece,

in a hundred,

but mailed back safe and sound

the right way up.

I have to trust you.

I’m going to.

But may the gods help the lover

in me

from giving you my heart

when you were already gone.

“.Love long distance.”
http://nonnetta.deviantart.com/

366 Poems: September 6th, 2016

I Trust You

(A Notebook Dedication)

I’ve been fearing these pages for weeks now,

but I think it’s time to face them.

Mark them.

Waste them on short poetry lines.

Because I don’t think I have ever been so afraid of change

as I am now.

I have never been so scared

to finish a notebook,

to start a new one.

Why?

Well then I was much less happy

than I am now.

I wanted things to change, for goodness sake!

And now I am tired

of constantly finding different directions.

I want to settle in

to an endless stream of paper and blissful imagination.

But alas, I know that’s not the case…

I mean, things change.

Life happens.

It sucks.

And even if we’re constantly begging for something new we still wish we could live

in the past.

I suppose I should just get used to it.

But how do I do that

without making myself

unhappy?

The lines are running out

and I know that I won’t find my answer

here.

But girl, you have always been smart.

You have always been very, very strong

ever since you wrote your first note,

did your first crazy thing,

found the person you wanted to become.

And no matter what you do,

I trust you

to do what is necessary to bring you joy.

I will always fear the future.

I will always fear time.

I will always fear love and the loss of it.

But I refuse to fear myself.

I refuse

to fear

you.

.

And I know that this story is exactly as long as you want it.

Mess-Ups

We’re always worried

about the mess-ups

and where we could go wrong.

And I’ve gone wrong

too many times to count,

although you don’t see it that way.

To you, I’m something crazy

that’s too perfect to exist.

And you won’t let me say you’re wrong,

but for you…

Do you know what I think?

I think that I’ve grown tired

of people who don’t mess up.

I mean, who is even like that

when you’ve known them long enough?

No,

I’ll admit that you messed up,

but then again, so did I

for falling for the world’s most amazing idiot.

🙂 Oh yes, I’ll admit it,

and if I’m too perfect for words,

then at least you’ll know that I’m doing something right…

After all,

some things can only be so perfect.