Ebb and Flow

I could write dissertations

on the science of happiness

But I don’t.

Instead I write poems

(or a lack thereof)

and wade through its ebbs and flows,

watching as it drowns me

eludes me

brings me forward

pushes me away–

And I would study its every molecule,

separate its every hue,

document every euphoria,

diagnose every anxiety,

and spend each day observing every bright wonderful night

if only I knew

how

it

works.

IMG_20161012_212019

“Bright Wonderful Night”

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366 Poems: December 22nd, 2016

Live

I live for every beautiful

ugly

flaw in this world.

Every tough question.

Every dark day.

I live for every day that I learn more about myself

and the universe.

Because on every day I dies

of fear,

loneliness,

or anxiety,

the words I wrote told me it was time to live.

“Live I n s i d e”
http://sweetcrazi.deviantart.com/

366 Poems: October 25th, 2016

Almost Over

It’ll all be over

by Tuesday.

But I’ve been saying that

since August.

I’ve been saying it

since before

I started losing sleep,

since before

I could’t clean my room,

since before

I cried in sociology,

since before

I wished for sick days,

since before

I didn’t do that assignment,

didn’t take that test,

didn’t get the grade I could’ve

gotten…

It’ll all be over

by Tuesday.

But when it’s done,

will they like what’s left

of me?

366 Poems: October 11th, 2016

Untitled

I’m going to miss this place

with its million shades of blue,

with its nooks and crannies and tall,

tall mountains to get lost in.

I’m going to miss the sun.

I’m going to miss the smiles.

I’m going to miss the idea of my home

being a million miles away,

and the bittersweet belief that I would come back

better.

But the clouds are crawling up the mountain

and the tide’s flowing away,

leaving the sudden wreckage I once was

and the fear that I might always

stay

this

way.

366 Poems: September 20th, 2016

DON’T STRESS

DON’T STRESS.

The struggle you face today is not forever

and nothing is as hard as it seems.

It may last a day, or a week, or a month,

but someday it will all be a dream.

Don’t stress.

You have fought greater monsters than this.

You are stronger than an assignment,

stronger than a grade,

and stronger than any mistake you may have made.

Don’t stress.

Get a good night’s sleep and stay healthy.

And if you don’t think you’ll make it through the day,

just tell yourself, “That’s a worry for tomorrow.”

Then someday you’ll wake up and realize you’re okay.

Don’t stress.

This is high school, not the end of the world,

so enjoy every moment you have.

Be strong and work hard in all that you do,

and know,

Know that the whole world is rooting for you.