366 Poems: September 6th, 2016

I Trust You

(A Notebook Dedication)

I’ve been fearing these pages for weeks now,

but I think it’s time to face them.

Mark them.

Waste them on short poetry lines.

Because I don’t think I have ever been so afraid of change

as I am now.

I have never been so scared

to finish a notebook,

to start a new one.

Why?

Well then I was much less happy

than I am now.

I wanted things to change, for goodness sake!

And now I am tired

of constantly finding different directions.

I want to settle in

to an endless stream of paper and blissful imagination.

But alas, I know that’s not the case…

I mean, things change.

Life happens.

It sucks.

And even if we’re constantly begging for something new we still wish we could live

in the past.

I suppose I should just get used to it.

But how do I do that

without making myself

unhappy?

The lines are running out

and I know that I won’t find my answer

here.

But girl, you have always been smart.

You have always been very, very strong

ever since you wrote your first note,

did your first crazy thing,

found the person you wanted to become.

And no matter what you do,

I trust you

to do what is necessary to bring you joy.

I will always fear the future.

I will always fear time.

I will always fear love and the loss of it.

But I refuse to fear myself.

I refuse

to fear

you.

.

And I know that this story is exactly as long as you want it.

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